Monthly Archives: April 2014

I’m seven years into this thing

And feeling a little cheated

That there wasn’t a sign

Marking the point of no return


They said “you’re brave”

And I said “it’s easy”

But I didn’t know then

That saying “yes” was the same as

saying “no”


And that I would pass a point

(I wouldn’t even notice it passing)

From which it wouldn’t be just hard

to return

But impossible


Or maybe it wasn’t a single point

It was the passing of 220 million 898

thousand 482 points

A point for every second of the past

seven years


Because I’ve tried to trace it back

Like fault lines on a map

But all the roads have changed


And there’s here and there’s there

There’s now and there’s then

But now is happening there too

And I’m so spun around I can’t find

north any more


But I can close my eyes and stop the


And my heart says quietly

“I’m here”


Honestly, I’m not even going to try to fill a gap of two years with justifications. Or try to catch up on everything that’s happened in the meantime.

So let’s pretend we have one of those friendships that can endure great absences and just pick up where we left off shall we? Hi!

I finished reading The Luminaries┬álast week. It’s only taken me the whole of this year so far to get through all 832 pages.

The first 300 or so were very slow going and then it builds pace and builds pace and the end is… well, you’ll just have to read it.

There was a real sense of relief┬áthat I’d made it to the end, and the all too familiar grief of letting go of characters that have become a part of my daily (escape from?) life.

The stories and characters are woven and interwoven. It’s so beautifully written and intricate that I feel like I owe it a second reading.

But a second reading of an 832 page book? It’s a monstrous thought.Image